Tuesday, 8 January 2013

City of tears

We left Mumbai this afternoon. The plane stopped first in Raipur (never heard of it before) and then flew west to Bhopal. The sky was dark and cloudless. Down below I could see the twinkling lights of houses, villages and towns, unnamed people living their lives, known only to them.

Slowly--or was it suddenly?--the realisation dawned. In minutes I would be arriving in Bhopal. The last time I arrived in Bhopal I had two living children. Now I have none.

And so the tears began to flow, and flow. Simon held me close. I am not afraid of tears like I used to be, neither am I ashamed of them. "Jesus wept"--the shortest verse in the Gospels. And Mary wept...

No, unlike the previous stages of my existence, now I will be honest. My heart is broken. I yearn for my children. The pain of realising that I am still alive while they are gone...Those are reasons to weep.

And so we landed in Bhopal.  A city of tears in a world of tears.

I'm quite exhausted so will sign off until later. Tomorrow is another day.

PS. Don't be worried about me. Writing is my therapy, that's how I process. Things should get better.

1 comment:

  1. Crying - such a normal outpouring of deep sadness.Glad for Simon! LOve you Abs. Hug

    ReplyDelete