November, the month of remembrance

• It's All Hallows Eve. Tomorrow is November 1st, All Saints Day, And then comes November 2nd, All Souls Day. It's the month for remembering.

Of course foremost in my mind there's Catherine and Pax.  But there are some other folk I'd like to write about here as well.

I'll start with an old friend who I haven't seen in more than a decade, probably more. He was a Hungarian Doctor I knew as Luke but that was an adopted name,. I heard that he passed away last week. He was a kind man who always had time for his friends and patients. God bless him, may he be at peace.

Then there's Jonathan, an artist who was a bit of a crazy missionary. All he wanted to do was go to Congo. We gave him a place to stay while he had medical treatment, and later on again, I think it was 4 September's ago. Then he went to stay with his son, still with plans to go to Africa, and then he passed suddenly. May he be at peace.

Then there's another friend, Libby, who died about 20 years ago.And there's  Joy, the wife of Joaquim should helped us find Pax’s grave place. She passed a couple of years after Pax.And another Joy, mother of many children who succumbed to cancer.

May they all be at peace with God.

I suppose the older we get, the more losses. All losses hurt, but there is particularly pain when they're untimely.

I'm going to be writing some articles about this for the magazine of a bereavement support charity. I vwrote one already, but that was on my own experience. These are going to be general well not really general, but not about my own situation.

 The first is going to be on complicated grief, when the person you have lost had an unhappy or difficult life before their death. Maybe they had been in prison, or on drugs, or suffered a painful physical or mental illness. Their departure might leave you without quite a bit of confusion--sorrow mixed with just perhaps a little relief that their suffering is over, and possibly a lot of unresolved issues.

The second is going to be on anticipated grief. If you're caring for someone, old or young, and you know their condition is terminal, how do you react when the inevitable arrives?

The idea of writing these is to help people by putting into words what they may be feeling, and giving them some thoughts on how to deal with those feelings. I feel very unqualified to do thus, but the articles will be edited and checked by professional counsellors.

If you're reading this and have any thoughts that could guide me, please let me know.

The other major project closest to my heart is my book The Valley Journal. I've had lots if interest but am still waiting for the "right" lead for it. Just want to see it used.

And so this is life after death--my life, after my children's death. A lot of what I do is on the death subject, but not all, it's just what I focus on here.

Tomorrow I'm helping out at a charity event with Simon, and then we'll go to Alton and bring the children flowers. May their souls be at peace. I miss them more than I can ever express and am just trying to survive by finding meaningful, helpful things to do. I hope I can.