It's Boxing Day today. Making it through the 3rd Christmas without Catherine.
We have a few traditions. One started several years before Catherine left; a Christmas eve carol service at a Catholic church. We took Catherine one year, and on the empty pew to my right, I kept thinking of her. I managed better this year as far as singing, but when it got to "Away in a Manger" I wept. My children in His tender care...
Before the service we went up to Alton and lay a wreath and some candles.
Then the next tradition is new since Catherine went away. I didn't know how I'd survive the first Christmas and we found a church that does a big meal for the elderly, lonely and poor and so this was an ideal place for us to help out. They serve over 300 people, I think. Anyways Christmas morning was our third year there. I helped pack up salad boxes for the "meals on wheels" that were delivered around the city. Simon made balloons to entertain the guests while they waited for their meal. It was good.
Came back tired. Simon slept and I watched "Carols from Kings" (on Iplayer--missed it on Christmas Eve). I was so glad for the peace; I had candles lit for Pax and Catherine, and a special candle for the other parents who are childless, and just reflected.
We have an old friend staying. As young teens, Catherine was good friends with his son, who is now an accountant and married with two children. His younger daughter is also married with two. And Simon, as you know, has 9 children, about 14 (???) grandchildren and 2 more on the way this spring. So as you do, yo talk about what's so-and-so doing, and how's so-and-so, and how tall that one has grown, etc.
And I smile, joining in their happiness.
But there's a knife in my own soul. My own children are fixed in time. They're not getting older or taller, they're not getting new jobs, new partners, new anything.
All I have our memories, and how happy I am when an old friend pops up online or somewhere with some fresh anecdotes. These comments have appeared on Catherine's Facebook page, a friend from her time in Birmingham.
Miss you loads Catherine! Miss our shopping trips up town and trying to con our way into the wedding dress shops to try on wedding dresses! Miss trying every possible perfume on in Debenhams and the laughs we had xxx
We used to talk about our dreams of marrying our boyfriends, what we would have at our weddings and what colour scheme we would have. When we tried to con our way into wedding shops, we were told that we needed proof of pending marriage from a church to be able to try anything on - not that it stopped us!!! One of the funniest times we had was when we were shopping in the sales and there were a lot of things on sale in a shop called La Senza; well, I decided to get a knicker and bra set that was quite sexy; anyway, when I got to the cashier, she asked me was it a present and did it need wrapping, or was it for me? Then out of nowhere, the most gorgeous man who was also in the queue piped up and said at the top of his voice "No, it's not for her, it's for her boyfriend!!" Catherine and I just fell about laughing, it was so funny!! xxx
I thank God for the happy memories, but my heart breaks for the memories that it is too late to create, the "what could have beens".
Rest in peace, Pax and Catherine.
We have a few traditions. One started several years before Catherine left; a Christmas eve carol service at a Catholic church. We took Catherine one year, and on the empty pew to my right, I kept thinking of her. I managed better this year as far as singing, but when it got to "Away in a Manger" I wept. My children in His tender care...
Before the service we went up to Alton and lay a wreath and some candles.
Then the next tradition is new since Catherine went away. I didn't know how I'd survive the first Christmas and we found a church that does a big meal for the elderly, lonely and poor and so this was an ideal place for us to help out. They serve over 300 people, I think. Anyways Christmas morning was our third year there. I helped pack up salad boxes for the "meals on wheels" that were delivered around the city. Simon made balloons to entertain the guests while they waited for their meal. It was good.
Came back tired. Simon slept and I watched "Carols from Kings" (on Iplayer--missed it on Christmas Eve). I was so glad for the peace; I had candles lit for Pax and Catherine, and a special candle for the other parents who are childless, and just reflected.
We have an old friend staying. As young teens, Catherine was good friends with his son, who is now an accountant and married with two children. His younger daughter is also married with two. And Simon, as you know, has 9 children, about 14 (???) grandchildren and 2 more on the way this spring. So as you do, yo talk about what's so-and-so doing, and how's so-and-so, and how tall that one has grown, etc.
And I smile, joining in their happiness.
But there's a knife in my own soul. My own children are fixed in time. They're not getting older or taller, they're not getting new jobs, new partners, new anything.
All I have our memories, and how happy I am when an old friend pops up online or somewhere with some fresh anecdotes. These comments have appeared on Catherine's Facebook page, a friend from her time in Birmingham.
Miss you loads Catherine! Miss our shopping trips up town and trying to con our way into the wedding dress shops to try on wedding dresses! Miss trying every possible perfume on in Debenhams and the laughs we had xxx
We used to talk about our dreams of marrying our boyfriends, what we would have at our weddings and what colour scheme we would have. When we tried to con our way into wedding shops, we were told that we needed proof of pending marriage from a church to be able to try anything on - not that it stopped us!!! One of the funniest times we had was when we were shopping in the sales and there were a lot of things on sale in a shop called La Senza; well, I decided to get a knicker and bra set that was quite sexy; anyway, when I got to the cashier, she asked me was it a present and did it need wrapping, or was it for me? Then out of nowhere, the most gorgeous man who was also in the queue piped up and said at the top of his voice "No, it's not for her, it's for her boyfriend!!" Catherine and I just fell about laughing, it was so funny!! xxx
I thank God for the happy memories, but my heart breaks for the memories that it is too late to create, the "what could have beens".
Rest in peace, Pax and Catherine.
