And there went 2017

I tend to forget this blog even exists, but I just discovered ot and did a brief reliving of our trip to Bhopal. I'm so glad I wrote it down because my memory is hazy.

2017 is finishing in a few hours. My heartbreak at losing Pax and Catherine is deep and sometimes still quite unbelievable, but most of the time it is not as raw and I can manage it.

I laugh sometimes, I enjoy things, but then I have to look at them and check they're okay with me.

This year was free of major disasters. Simon's health has inconvenienced him but it isnt too serious. I am steadily stronger, still cancer free.

The biggest thing this year was supporting other people in their grief journeys. This is now the major focus of my work but Im not sure how long to continue. Sometimes emotionally it is very costly. The nice thing though is people apppreciating the help plus more people getting to know about Pax and Catherine. So thats somewhat of a legacy.

I am learning to drive. I failed my first test bit am hopeful for the next.

And so life continues for me.

2017. Over and out

2016 came and went

It's Pax's birthday today. He would be 38 which is hard for me to imagine. I try to picture him as a young man, nearly 40! but that's a challenge. I haven't seen him in 35 years. Do we grow older in heaven?

I haven't posted on here for a long time. I had a strange 2016 which seems to have passed in a blur.

2015 (the last time I posted!) ended quite dramatically, as it turned out I had cancer. I had surgery to remove my kidney, discovered it was a stage 3 cancer but they got it all out, and have spent the past year trying to regain my strength. Also been busy, published another book, started leading bereavement support events, got involved with other charities, so it wasn't like recovering was spent sitting around. Rather the opposite, as I have tried to get my energy back. But it's like being in slow motion. I'm at perhaps 60% strength of what I was before. I am thankful to be alive, but wish I felt a bit more so.

Who knows what 2017 has in store. We'll see.